


drivers license

by 404ISMISSING



Series: The Outsiders one shots [3]
Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Based off a song, Cliffhangers, Instagram, M/M, Modern Era, Texting, drivers license, johnnys p.o.v of mr loverman, yea that song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/404ISMISSING/pseuds/404ISMISSING
Summary: "Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Series: The Outsiders one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119416
Kudos: 7





	drivers license

it was twelve am and johnny cade wasnt in bed asleep. no, instead he was outside, he put the key in the car and turned it, the music on the radio beginning to play, the sound of car, huh.

_ "I got my driver's license last week  
Just like we always talked about" _

he backed out of the garage the car was shoved in, surprised it even worked. he had gotten his driver license this week. instead of calling Dally immediately like they had planned he walked home in silence, the wind talking and whispering to him.

_"'Cause you were so excited for me_   
_To finally drive up to your house"_

"when you get your license you can just drive aaall the way to mines," he heard dally on the other line, he could almost hear his dumb smile  
"you live so far away though," Johnny complained, laying on bed, imagining he was here. next to him.  
"will it be worth it though?"  
"yeah."

_"But today I drove through the suburbs_   
_Crying 'cause you weren't around"_

He heard a sniffle, who was that? oh wait that was him. he wiped his tears, he kept driving, lights surrounding him. lights that reminded him like Christmas lights. christmas lights that reminded him of when he fell for Dallas Winston.

_ "And you're probably with that blonde girl _   
_ Who always made me doubt" _

_dally: can i add you to a gc? i want you to meet my friends :))_   
_johnny: yeah sure :0_

_-_   
_johnny: who's sylvia again??_   
_dally: my friend but we used to date, for a bit tho we're only friends now_   
_johnny: cool okay :))_

_ "She's so much older than me _   
_ She's everything I'm insecure about" _   
  
_He tried to convince himself not to look at her profile, he had no reason to. he knew he was going to regret it. but his fingers ached to tap on her icon to open the profile. just one click away._   
_click._   
_instant regret. she was pretty. pale skin, long hair and confident._   
_he immediately felt self conscious, looking down at his tanned skin._

_"Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs_  
 _'Cause how could I ever love someone else?"_

the light's slowly became less constant, only seeing five or four turn to nothing. he began to feel a sense of relief, a sudden wave of a comfortable deja vu

_"And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one"_

time after time he tried to meet different people and took his friends advice but nothing filled the cracks that dallas winston made when he left. 

_"And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone"_

and time after time he would see him on his feed. with her. happy. close, together. and he realized that couldve never been them. but it still hurt. how could he just be okay?  
  
 _"Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me"_

_"he's different. he's special i just know he is. i really do love him." Johnny took off his head phone before he could hear what the other said, feeling like he was intruding. they were on call but he went on mute while Ponyboy dropped him off. he thought he meant those words.  
  
"Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street"  
  
_ _johnny: i love you, i always will  
  
dally: i love you too, i'll never stop.   
  
johnny: promise?  
  
dally: promise.  
  
"And all my friends are tired  
Of hearing how much I miss you,"  
_

_"why are you crying?" Ponyboy asked, before sitting next to him. Johnny rubbed his eyes, wiping the tears away,_   
_"no, nothin it's fine."_   
_"is it dally?"_ _Johnny could only nod. He knew that look in Pony's eyes. he knows he should be over it. it's been a month._

_"I kinda feel sorry for them  
'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah"_

He kept his eyes on the road despite the phone going off besides him. it vibrated and he knew who messaged him. he couldnt open it though.  
  


_ "Today I drove through the suburbs  
_ _ And pictured I was driving home to you" _

_"i cant wait till i get out of here." he sat outside, he could see his breath due to how cold it was._  
 _"how come?"_  
 _"then i'll get to be with you. he was fully planning on being with him all his life.  
  
_ i guess the other wasnt.  
  
 _"And I know we weren't perfect  
But I've never felt this way for no one, oh"  
_

_he remembered the day after Dally had broken things off. he remembered which class he was in specifically. he remembered how each breath felt like a stab to his throat, and his eyes were glossed over and how he was about to break down. but still managed to ask if they could stay friends.  
  
"And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone"  
_

he came to a stop. he got out of the car, the place was almost like a dessert. He got out his phone. the messages were from dally. he typed a quick response. he didnt feel like talking to him. then he miss clicked and went onto his profile.  
 _taken by-_  
He couldnt read who it was. he knew who it was.  
  
 _"I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me"_

he thought dally meant every word. he knew he, himself, did. but. 

"'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street"

his mind became full of noise, their conversations rushing through his head, every single one, every single word, sentence, feeling. he sat down on the side of his car. he opened his conversations with Dally.  
offline.   
he began to type. this was it. he just needed to feel free, he needed to know what he felt he needed to not be afraid to embrace his emotions. 

_ "Red lights, stop signs _   
_ I still see your face in the white cars, front yards" _

he wanted to stop lying. dally deserved better than that. _he_ deserved better than that. he wanted to be happy. he wanted to tell the truth. he wanted to leave with no regrets.

_ "Can't drive past the places we used to go to  
'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe" _

he wrote a lot. more than what he was used to. he waited for a bit, rethinking his choices, he looked up at the sky. the same one that would be there when he wouldnt.

_ "Sidewalks we crossed  
I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing"  
_

he got up and opened the door getting in, almost forgetting about the message, just driving for a while more. the cool wind holding his face and going through his hair, he felt free. safe. happy. 

_ "Over all the noise   
God, I'm so blue, know we're _ through _"_ _  
_

like nothing could hurt him, he liked that feeling. he knew what it felt like but he lost it when-   
the car came for a stop again.  
  
 _"But I still fuckin' love you, babe"_

he looked down at his phone again. "i love you dal. hopefully only as a friend."  
he needed space. without thinking of him. without talking to him. he needed happiness again.  
  
 _"I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one"_

and with every memory, every word, song lyric, every text, ever song they shared in mind. he sent it. he went onto his profile and blocked him.  
he put his phone down.  
  
 _"And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone"  
_

he began to drive again, slowly this time. holding onto the steering wheel tightly, refraining his hands from unblocking him and deleting the message. he needed this.

_ "'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me" _

he got home. he took a shower, brushed his teeth. and fell asleep. turning his phone off. not bothering to see any messages he did or didnt get.

_"'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street"_

but that was years ago. now johnny was coming to a different state happy. he felt free. sure he had his bad days were he almost unblocked him. but he had to keep doing this. for himself, he wanted to be happy.   
as he was coming down the escalator, his suitcase in one hand and phone in the other, he opened the conversation. a small red heart at the bottom of the text, under neat a simple word. "seen" he smelt something, fire, not big enough to burn down something. just to light up a cigarette. he looked up.

_"Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."_

"dally?"   
a silence filled his ears, a calming deja vu over came him.

**Author's Note:**

> ate a good sandmich


End file.
